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Gym Chat Translated!

February 25th, 2019

If you’re in the gym like we are…like, every day, then no doubt you’ve heard some classic gym chat. But what are they REALLY saying?? Scorpion investigates with Gym Chat 101:

 

Have you been working out much?

You look small, do you even lift?

 

What are you training today?

I have nothing else to say, but we’ve made eye contact now, its Monday so obviously its chest day.

 

I don’t go to the gym much anymore.

I’ve been working out four times a week every week for the last year.

 

Bro, can I get a spot?

You’re the only person who actually looks like they know what they’re doing, so can you please stop me from being crushed under this weight which is clearly way too heavy.

 

Are you using this?

You’re quite clearly not using this, I’m merely feigning politeness, so please get off your phone and move before I……

 

Have you got many sets left?

I’ve been wanting to use this piece of equipment for the last 20 minutes and if I see you attempt one more set I’m going to burst a blood vessel.

 

Do you need these 20s?

I’ve made the assumption just by looking at your stick figure that you will have no use for these weights, so I’m just going to take them.

 

Can I work in with you?

Even though the gym is empty and I could have just done something else for 10 minutes. I am now going to annoy you by unstacking your weights, making small talk about  supplements, training methodologies I just read online and sweating all over your bar.

 

It’s all you!

This is half me, you have no business lifting this weight, you’re wasting both of our time, and I have a good mind to drop this bar on your contorted face.

 

Squats are really bad for your knees.

My PT qualification came free in a weetbix box.

 

I like to confuse my muscles.

I pretty much believe anything I read or see on social media.

 

I’m not lifting heavy at the moment.

I have never lifted heavy in my entire life and don’t intend to start.

 

Lightweight baby!

Everybody look at me, look at me, I’ve watched some Ronnie Coleman videos.

 

Isolation day and I’m ready to get a pump on.

I’m about to spend 90 minutes looking at my self in the mirror doing arm curls.